The Threesome Golden Ratio

Warning: the following text is written in the mind of a dumb college kid so if you’re looking for smart, mature and interesting articles go here.

Scaling

Yes, guys rate girls. We do it all the time almost like breathing. There are many different scales and it varies between cultures, countries, schools, generations and so on. But all will agree the most classic and universal rating system is the 1-10 scale.

Guys know girls rate us but unlike girls, every guy knows more or less where he stands on the scale. Mainly by experience of the girls he dates or “hook up” with along the way.

If a guy constantly goes out with 7-8 girls he knows that’s where he is and he will usually leave the 5’s and 10’s for others.

Don't be a hater

Another (unsurprising) fact about guys is we all espier to share our bed with two women at once during the course of our lifetime at least once. Not an easy task if you found yourself on the outside of the hardcore porn industry.

Most will say it’s a childish mission and they are right. But still we all think about it. Most of us never accomplish it and when we grow up it just adds to the list of stupid things we wanted to do together with driving at 250 km/h on the freeway and a “Mother” tattoo.

If you still feel like you can’t let go of the dream and you won’t give up, the next formula should at least help you wrap your head around it.

The Formula

This formula should not be taken seriously and is not to be viewed as sex guideline.

If you’re one of those guys who can’t let go of this goal you will probably have to make some adjustments to your rating system.

Let’s say you’re an 8’s guy. All your life you had great success with 8’s and from time to time you find yourself with a 9 or a 7. Can you really imagine you will succeed getting nasty with two 8’s?! That’s like 16!! But of course you won’t like to hook up with two 5’s as it’s too obvious.

Introducing the Threesome Golden Ratio:

If Z = your rating (1,10)

And; X,Y = girl’s ratings (1,10)

Than;

1.5*Z ≤ X+Y

Example: If you are an 8, the sum of the two girl’s ratings should be 8*1.5=12 or higher. It can be two 6’s or a 7 and a 5. You got the point.

Good luck dudes.

For my final words I’ll just mention that although it seems cool and all, wasting your energy on this kind of shit is stupid. You should be grateful if even one girl chooses to spend any time with you.

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Meta Smell or Duty-Whiffing

Ever since I accidently ate bad whip cream as a child, I smell everything before I eat it. The experience was so awful and scarring I keep working and improving my sense of smell if only to never eat expired dairy again. Plus I got a fairly large yet strong nose so it helps.

When I found myself killing time in the duty free shops in between flights I was amazed how much of my life is flashing before my eyes when I walk across the perfume shelf.

Anything can trigger it basically. It may attack you walking into a room, opening the car window, bumping into someone on the street, walking into a market, a restaurant, an elevator, the train or whatever. These small flashbacks catch us unprepared and paralyze us for a few seconds.

Each person, place and memory has a unique smell that is filed in our archives. For me at least it is very hard to remember a smell by memory but the opposite happens all the time. With a single whiff I can vividly feel the moment I last or first smelled a memory. 

I remember.. I remember!!!

The Nose Knows

The perfume shelf is basically a direct access point to these archived memories as they are filed by scent.

 

The smell of my first love which I haven’t thought of for a while, the smell my cousin wore at this wedding she danced with me and I wanted to puke, the perfume my grandmother sent me 15 years ago which I’ve never used, my grandfather’s after shave which meant I won’t itch after he gives me a thousand kisses, CK One just reminds me of everything happened between 91’-95’, the girl who left in the morning leaving only a hint, the one still sitting on the shelf in my late friend’s room, the old spice from my teen years, the one I used when I stayed the night and the one smell who seems to make my eyes work as well..

And then the airport’s McDonald’s smell.

Try it the next time around.

If you are anosmic I’m very sorry for this post.

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