Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The alternative top 10 list – 10 things that will not change in 2011.

It is the end of the year and everybody is busy making “top 10” lists to sum up the year and the decade. One of the most popular blogging tips is “make lists. People love lists”. I find it a bit stupid. Time just passes by and things happen without caring too much about a number in some category.

So, while everybody is busy with all the exciting innovations and new technologies of 2010, I decided to list all the things that bug the Regular Joe and probably won’t change in 2011.

1.  Romantic comedies – I’m sad to say there is just no seeing the end of it. In 2011 you would find yourself sitting at home (or the theatre if you are really weak), watching a movie about a really good looking girl that can’t find a date and on her sister’s wedding she loses her glasses and find prince charming. Yes, in 2012 also.

2.  Airlines – I can’t think of any other industry that made zero progress in the past 40 years as airlines. We still have to come early, stand in line, show 50 different kind of papers, get body searched and on and on. And the planes are so slow. We are in the air! No traffic, no lights but it's still take 8 hours to cross the ocean. The plane speed did not change since the 80’s. Just like the food and the leg room. So yeah, don’t expect any breakthrough there either. Maybe your luggage will arrive with you on 2011.

3.  Office binders – it is safe to say that a lot of people get up every morning and go to an office. Our office environment has changed a lot these past few decades. We have wireless everything and air-conditioners, espresso machines, mails, conference calls, ipads and more. But if you go to your filing cabinet, I bet you would still see those ugly, unpractical, heavy binders. With all the progress made in office supply, nobody found a decent solution to “many pages we want to keep together”. Office Depot, this is your wake up call.

4.  Wake up early – for some reason we work today the same hours we used to when we lived in caves and hunted dodos. There is no justification to wake up so early every day.  When would we start living like “wake up whenever, come to work whenever, just get things done”. For sure somewhere after 2011.

5.  Stupid fights – I’m no psychic or anything but I have this strange feeling I’ll have a stupid fight with my girlfriend on 2011.

6.  Buy stuff we don’t need – I think every year beats the record of the previous one in “how much stupid things people bought”. We don’t really need half of the things we buy and hate the other half. But we still do. So next time I invite you to dinner and you want to bring me this great looking glass turtle / toothpick holder, think again.

7.  Say things we don’t mean – “heyyyy!!! It is so great to run into you!! I’ve got to run but we have to meet for lunch! This week! We HAVE TO meet this week… I’ll call you…” and it’s 2012.

8.  Waste timetime has long lost its value to most of us. In 2011 we’ll still wait in lines, in traffic, watch TV, wait for a table, look for parking, sleep in airports, wait for someone to notice us, wait for the perfect girl, wait for the perfect guy, wait for a promotion and just wait.

9.  Get in shape – oh yeah, 2011 will be the year I finally get in shape. Not like 2010 when I almost got in shape or 2009 when I started to see my abs when the light was just right. 2011 is the year!!!

10. Keep it up – in 2011 every movie will be the greatest ever made, every game will be the sports event of the decade, every crisis will be the end of the world, top 10 gadgets, top 10 ways to spice your sex life, top 10 bars in Oklahoma and one top reason to end this post.

Whatever happens just remember there is always next year to laugh about this year.

Have a fantastic 2011. 

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