Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Flirting at the Digital Age (... or Digiage)

Let’s just say it once and for all; Facebook is heaven when you're single. But hell when you're in a relationship, a minefield.

Flirting has always been around in all forms and kinds. Everybody flirts. It’s an instinct. Even after years of relationships, guys wanna know they still got it. Same goes for the ladies.

In most cases it’s considered harmless and legitimate. If I go out with friends and meet someone I haven’t seen in a while I guess the common way of communicate will be what you might call a ‘mild flirting’. Again, harmless.

The problem starts when you wake up the morning after and see that girl wrote on your wall something like “it was great seeing you last night handsome. Thanks for the drinks. Next time they’re on me. xoxo”… HANDSOME!!! DRINKS!!!! NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every word counts.
That’s the unwanted supplements the ‘digiage’ (again, the digital age) brought into our lives; the documentation and the ‘active flirting’.

Everything is documented these days. It’s worth a separate post talking about it but the outcome is many times a guy finds himself defending his choice of words or defending words written to him. “We always call each other handsome. It’s a figure of speech”. But nothing helps. Anything read in the right tone can sound like heavy flirting. If you decide on commenting to a girl’s status line or send a text message, treat it as if you were the white house speech writer. Every word counts.

Active flirting
From a small research I conducted, most girls would rather find 10GB of porn on their man’s computer then finding a correspondence of him with some other girl. That includes emails, text, chat or any other kind. Suddenly the honest bar flirting is taken an ugly turn. The difference is that it becomes active and personal. There’s a gap between being friendly in a public place and actively engage a flirting with someone. For many guys this gap is non-existing. women often confuse men stupidity with ill-intentions.

In order to avoid unpleasant Taliban-style interrogations, guys have to manage their on-line activity very carefully with care and thought. I’m not talking about being more discreet but basically try to avoid these relationship non legitimate activities. The web killed the naïve. Everything is very personal and intentional. Everybody is connected and nothing stays secret for long.

If you do want to flirt, you can unload it on the Regular Joe Facebook profile.

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