Monday, January 16, 2012

Stupid Things Celebrities Say

In my intro post I mentioned I hate and love celebrities without knowing them. This sentence summarizes everything we feel about the whole celebrity phenomena. We have such strong feelings regarding these people we don’t even know and they don’t know us and usually we are just a bunch of idiots reading stuff other idiots told these idiots to say so some stupid paper can print it along with shocking headlines.
Look how good looking I am
 and I don't even care

I too have some celebrities I just love with no reason other than the editor picked their best shots to some movie and some celebrities I just hate with no good reason but I just do.

They always take everything so seriously.. you're only making movies! What I love the most is reading stupid things celebrities say. Who really believes this crap? Who’s buying it?
For example something like: “I just want to act. I hate the fame and the lack of privacy. I wish I was just a regular person”. How many times have you heard some young actor saying that accompanied by a shirtless picture of his new abs? Don’t like the fame? Go act on off off off Broadway one man shows! I promise you no one will ever hear your name again. Wanna be a regular person? Come fill in for me flipping burgers while I’ll go sex your supermodel girlfriend!

My father who has many celebrities as clients always told me “never get involved with a celebrity for they have no grey area. It’s either up or down”. A plumber can’t afford to be like that. He has real things to do.

I would marry the first guy who tell me a knock knock joke
You see!!! I just wanted to write a stupid, funny post about stupid things celebrities say and you got me rambling for an hour. That’s what they do to us!!!

Right after the Golden Globe and before Oscars season,
Here are some more typical gems celebrities say and their true meanings:

"No one would hit on me" – usually said by young actresses or bikini models

"I was an ugly kid" - usually said by an actor moments after he was named a sex symbol.

"I really relate to the role" – how exactly do you relate to a platoon leader in Vietnam? By eating in the new raw Vietnamese place on Rodeo Drive?

"I only look for a Guy who makes me laugh" – you mean he has enough money to get Jerry Seinfeld make you laugh.

"I eat only cakes and ice cream" – that’s how you got these abs? So you throw up only ice cream as well? 

That snack will keep me untill 2nd lunch
"It's genetics" – your parents were cheek bones?

"I'm in a place in my life where I'm looking for a committing relationship" – when I first saw your yacht I just thought “this is a yacht of someone who is ready to commit”

"I don't care what people think. I'm doing my own thing" – you mean your stylist and manager invent your “thing” over lunch.

"That's how my hair looks when I wake up" – do you fall asleep at your hairdresser? That’s rude

"I hate paparazzi" – so go to Africa. Only National Geographic there.

"Being a sex symbol is a burden" – I can help you carry the load.

"My clothing line is young and fresh" – you mean the people who make your clothing are young and fresh.

"You got to have a tough skin" – there’s a great cream for that

I’m sure this post will keep updating in the coming months. If you have some of your own insights feel free to comment, Tweet (#StupidThingsCelebritiesSay) or go to my FB page.

So come on! Make me famous!!


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