Free Money!!! or Siri do I have your attention?

Utopia Disrupted

Wish it was that simple. I could just write whatever is on my mind, what bothers me or makes me happy and you would just read, share it with others, comment or contact me or just think about it for a little while.

But I’m just one person, a regular Joe if you will, among many others. So if I want someone else beside me and this woman from Texas to read it, I need to come up with an out-of-this-world title, wicked design, write like the bastard child of L. Cohen and Jerry Seinfeld and spread it like a virus so maybe someone would choose me over all the rest out there.

And there’s a lot to choose from. Every second of the day I face a 10 choice questionnaire of what to read, watch, and hear. It’s a bloody war and porn is winning.

Draw me out

I accept the fact I have to work hard and excel in order to get strangers to spend their precious time reading me. But what about those who are closer? It’s just as hard to get someone to listen to you in real life.

I always know I have your limited attention to fight for. The minute my words stop to be appealing you’ll pull out your phone. 

"So I heard this joke the other day"

Let’s assume everybody is distracted all the time. To be listened to and heard is our constant wish and goal since childhood. No one likes to be ignored (accept for Kim Kardashian). For people to choose listening to you when you got something to say there’s a certain reputation you must carry. We call it “charisma” as if it was some kind of super power. Some work all their life to maintain that reputation and some achieve it in a single brilliant moment. Some never get it. Once people stop what they’re doing in order to listen to your words, it’s yours to lose.

"Wait honey I can't get a signal"

When was the last time you met with someone or started a conversation without you both checking your phone every two minutes? Came home to have dinner with your girlfriend and not end up sitting in front of the TV, reading on the iPad (thanks Steve) or Draw Something with Friends?

If you’re planning on getting some tonight make sure you block the signal in the bedroom. It became impossible to get someone’s full attention on demand.  I actually went to dinner the other night with a friend who spoke to Siri for the better part of the evening.

Even my family dinners start to look like a media conference.

Rage Against the Machine

Think of how many screens you go through a day. You wake up and check your phone, sit all day in front of a computer, read your Kindle on the subway and fall asleep in front of the TV hugging your iPad.

Up until 20 years ago the main competition for attention was other people. As I am the most interesting, funny and insightful person I know I have no problem with that.

How can I compete with a bunch of pig hating birds, a 16 years old girl telling what she wore today, Jessica Alba’s vacation pics or “10 ways to spice up your sex life”? I don’t stand a chance. It pisses me off.

All I’m saying is try not to be so judgmental (whoever knows me should laugh here).  I say stupid things here and there but sometimes you may just find what you’ve been looking for just by keeping the phone in your pocket or read something else besides the headlines.

Hey? HEY?? Are you listening to me?? I’m trying to tell what’s on my mind.. what was the last thing I said? Oh forget about it. I’ll just tweet you what to TiVo.

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